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it's been years   
03:44pm 18/04/2009
 
mood: hungover
i felt the need to update in here since it's probably been 3 years since my last entry.

what a night is all i have to say....

i think i'm in love with my life again. this happens every now and again, but not very often. but i think i'm content for now. A lot has changed since the last time i was here... grown up a lot. well... some i should say. Me and peyton are no more. he's basically a douche bag. I've reconnected with a lot of old friends.

anyway, love you elljay.. good day.
 
     

(eat my dust)

 
   
09:17pm 26/07/2007
  day one... no smoking........jsdfljsadfljkasd;lfj  
     

(1 bit it hard | eat my dust)

 
   
11:35pm 11/07/2007
  so my default picture is from like 3 years ago..


recently i've realized that i dont talk to anyone anymore. phfd and whitney. that's it. i hate it. should have never left murrells inlet

right now i am listening to the worst rap song ever

eh hem.... " wussup bitch bitch wussup wussup hoe hoe....."
.. im not kidding

so nothing much has changed. the window unit is still freezing me out of the room. layla is still huge and knocking over glasses. peyton's parents are still crazy.. however they do have their own taxi company now :/

i miss everyone. i remember writing on here everyday about how much i was excited to finally meet elysexhandjive .. BY THE WAY I KNOW THE HAND JIVE NOW!!!!!!.... and now we're back to square one. i miss elyse .. still.. i miss joe.. still. i miss devin.. still... i miss shawn ... still....

guess that just means that i need to charge up my phone and make some calls.

jacuzzi anyone?
 
     

(1 bit it hard | eat my dust)

 
   
06:04pm 12/04/2007
 
mood: nervous
ok so i came to school with elyse today. i have never been to college before so i'm still feeling awkward everytime the teacher walks by because i think she is going to catch me being for one in the class and two on the internet not doing any work. then i think she's going to get mad about me listening to the ipod. but she keeps picking her teeth and i'm hungry .... AND I KNOW SHE HAS FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

but this computer is bad ass and the keyboard is fancy and so is the mouse. but it's still a very awkward quiet room. i dont think i will ever go to college just because of this one encounter...
 
     

(eat my dust)

 
   
08:10pm 10/02/2007
  well. i'm 20.

i had to work on my birthday..

peyton is working a double...

hopefully i'll end up having a good birthday party.



so far no presents or goodies. feel free to send them on my way.
 
     

(eat my dust)

 
   
12:06am 01/01/2007
  GOD i can't believe its 2007 already. doesn't feel like a new year yet. it's weird how much has changed in the past year. how many friends have been in and out of lives. how many hearts have been broken. how many different people slept on the wood floors in m.i. how many ciggarettes have been consumed. the amount of alcohol and other illegal substances have been consumed.

i'm so glad i'm over a lot of the shit that went on through last year. this year will be completely different.

i'm excited for what next year will be like. i wonder about if the friends i have made will stick through this year and many more to come. i wonder about where i'll move to. where i'll be working. there's so much room to change and it's weird.

i miss a lot of the people i used to be friends with that just drifted away over time. but i guess that happens. part of life.

i wish i was smart like dan and had inspiring big words to type but i don't because i didn't go to college. i went to summer school


happy new year mother fuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
     

(4 bit it hard | eat my dust)

 
   
11:39pm 07/12/2006
  well i'm engaged now... and i'm happy. for the first time i'm content with what's going on in my life.


all the mom's are already nagging me about when where how many who's its and what's its. GEEZ it's only as of yesterday... and this dog's breath is rancid..



well i'm going to smoke.

congratualte me and tell me about how much you wish you were as happy as i am.
 
     

(5 bit it hard | eat my dust)

 
im hungry.   
01:04pm 13/11/2006
  maybe i'm over reacting but i am really upset.

fuck you derril you're hateful and always have been. i'm fed up.

i will not be walked over anymore.

fuck you h. rubin.
 
     

(eat my dust)

 
   
04:51pm 07/11/2006
  i need braces.

i finally got the phone i've been wanting since forever and i'm in love

i love peyton unconditionally and i really can't see myself without him ever. i know everyone in a relationship says that but i mean it. and i know they say that too...

so this weekend was eventful and ridiculous. i'll just leave it at that. ... well let's put it this way.. peyton's parents are more childish than i am... that says a lot. but it's entertaining. never a dull moment.

so tonight is new found glory and i'm not going. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. i want to so bad.

i miss peyton when i'm at work... is that sick??

i want coffee
 
     

(eat my dust)

 
   
11:00am 03/11/2006
  i got free cappucino and danish from starbucks today. thank you conway national for being a fuck up  
     

(eat my dust)

 
   
03:42pm 20/10/2006
 
mood: calm
so today peyton and i have been together for 6 months! WOW! that's a big deal! i love him. so much.

also today i overheard doctor allouch and tamer speaking of a raise. then tamer made it official. so soon i'm rollin on dubs baby.... i wish..

today is good

i hope my brother wins his football game today. that would top the day off so well!

and grandma and grandpa are in town ... i miss them. i am quite happy that they are here. \

....maybe the move to North Myrtle Beach was a good idea!
 
     

(1 bit it hard | eat my dust)

 
i'm sleepy and sick   
12:21pm 04/10/2006
 
mood: hungry
i'm getting a cold. my period hurts. my cuticles hurt. i want to go back to sleep. i'm hungry. my ears are ringing. ready to go to sleep for a long time. i wish i had tomorrow off. i would sleep allllllll day. i live with peyton now. i like it. nothing is different. i dont think it's going to be. well it's time to think about where we are going to eat lunch. because i'm starving.
 
     

(eat my dust)

 
   
06:27pm 28/09/2006
  So my brother is playing football now and he wants everyone to go to them so here is the schedule


Saturday at 10 am there is a jamboree which means they are only playing one quarter but he wanted everyone to go "especially Joe" he says

monday the 2nd at 6

friday the 6th at 6

monday the 9th at 7.15

wednesday the 11th at 7.15

monday the 16th at 6

friday the 20th at 6

monday the 23rd at 6

wednesday the 25th at 7.15

november 1st at 6

november 3rd at 7.15
 
     

(eat my dust)

 
dagwoods is amazing   
12:51pm 26/09/2006
  and i ate there today.

.....and i miss ashley..


........and i really want to go swimming. real bad.

and homeless people always come in to my work ... all the time.

and they smell like stale cigarettes and b-o

and i almost got in a fight with an old lady. not really but i'm going to pretend like i did. she was such a bitch. i hate old ladies. they smell like funeral homes and grady just asked me when i'm getting married.
 
     

(eat my dust)

 
   
11:16am 23/09/2006
  i remember when thanksgiving came around last year and we ate mcdonald's... and lots of it.

god it was so good.





.......... i love eating.
 
     

(1 bit it hard | eat my dust)

 
tired.......   
05:28pm 22/09/2006
  well basically, i dont want to stay in seaside grove anymore.


i really can't say anything else. i just don't want to be there anymore... i just don't want to screw over my sister. i could care less about jason.. he makes my blood boil. however, i do not want to mess her up.

and that's there is to it.

goodnite.
 
     

(eat my dust)

 
i swear if i have to see that fucking giddy smile one more time i'm going to scream...   
10:12pm 19/09/2006
  do something about it already jean.

fuck.







..............FUCK!
 
     

(eat my dust)

 
my friends are dropping like flies.   
03:15pm 16/09/2006
  so apparently the new cool thing to do is to talk shit about sarah when she isn't around. i haven't done anything to anyone to hurt anyone. i dont know why all of a sudden everyone seems like they are turning on me. it seems like everyone is just ignoring me.

so last night peyton says to me "it's pretty bad when your so called friends look down on you." and i lost it. i cried my self to sleep. becuase it's true. and it is for no reason.

fuck it.

i have whitney leigh peyton and joe.

they are the only ones who seem to care about if they talk to me or not.

i fucking hate myrtle beach.
 
     

(3 bit it hard | eat my dust)

 
it's so beautiful outside....   
01:27pm 12/09/2006
  it reminds me of spivey. i hate it but love reminiscing at the same time. i alway said i would never miss it but i do. seeing your best friends every day instead of 3-4 times a month. i should start doing a little better than that. it isn't intentional.

so today i went to lunch and kara and i sat on a beach access set up much like pyrates.... but not the same....... at all. but still it was a good feeling. the weather was perfect and i wanted nothing more than to be in my old living room with the windows and doors open with the same spivey prom mix playing over and over. those were the times. so many memories. so much drama.

i remember the themed parties and the disgusting funk caked up on the floor from such eventful nights. laying on the dock talking to antwon. running up and down the stairs and gasping for air and grabbing some fresh "oxygen" from the blue and gold box.

i remember hitting boo with the pellot gun from the top of the roof and playing hide and go seek int he worst spots possible. creeping down the neighbors stairs... dark and creepy cobwebby cave... throwing pumpkins in the inlet... along with watermelons... burned noodles... molded bread..... ronnie's specail in the bushes... a delicious mix of salad cheez its ramen noodles sauces and some othe r shit that accumulated white green and blue mold.

photo shoots.

its funny how 18 days from this time last year we were singing in the living room to wake me up when september ends. it doesn't seem that long ago.

::::sigh::::: what i would give to have memories like these again.
 
     

(1 bit it hard | eat my dust)

 
   
05:15pm 06/09/2006
  so i went to the er the other day. not fun.

i'm tired of working/
 
     

(eat my dust)